3rd Grade Science Project

I've been helping my daughter with her 3rd grade science project. She has to collect 10 insects and build a little display case and label them, etc. The display case is not the hard part because if you want to find insects then all of a sudden they are scarce. The rest of the time they are happily biting your ass immediately the second you step outside. If you need the little bastards there are none to be found. I agreed to take Meghan to the field outside of the zoo because there is tall grass there so of course there should be plenty of insects to capture. We spent about 10 minutes and we caught a grasshopper and a moth. We have a month to get the project done so I told her that was enough for now. We left and pulled out of the zoo parking lot onto the street that is 5o mph. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something. I swerved onto the shoulder of the road and then threw it into reverse and backed up. There in the middle of the road was a caterpillar running like the star running back for USC.

Meghan asked what I was doing. I was hesitant to tell her because she is such a sensitive girl. I finally told her that there was a caterpillar in the middle of the road but I advised her that there was a lot of cars coming so the caterpillar might not make it. The first car flew by and the breeze sent the caterpillar rolling across the highway. After 8 or 10 revolutions the caterpillar stopped, regained it's bearings and again started charging to the side of the highway. The other 8 cars blew by. Each time the caterpillar somersaulted across the highway, stopped, gained traction and began it's journey again in earnest.

After the last car passed I stepped into the highway and scooped the caterpillar into a bag for my daughter. It was only a few moments after we had accelerated onto the highway when I found out that the caterpillar was NOT going to be part of the science project, now it was going to be part of the family. I hadn't hit 50 before it had a freaking name.

Within 10 minutes we were home and the caterpillar had leaves to eat, a couple of twigs to crawl on and a nice plastic jar to live in.

That night "Baby" went everywhere my daughter went. At one point she dropped the jar, for the third time as I recall. I picked up the jar and placed my ear to the lid. "Honey, he wants to know if we can put him back in the middle of the highway."

The next morning I had to leave for 3 days of meetings. After I explained to Meghan why I couldn't take "Baby" with me we decided to release her into the wild. Which meant dumping the plastic jar into the bush in front of the house. "Baby" is now free, so if you are flying down the highway at 75 mile an hour and you see a butterfly coming towards you, please swerve even if it means rolling over in the ditch, that could be "Baby" coming at you.